Thursday, June 7, 2012

12


Evenin y’all. So for those of you that don’t yet know, I’m writing this post from home. And I’m realizing that it’s just a fact of life that time truly flies; yet again, so much has happened since I last wrote. I wanted to give y'all a final post of sorts. And though this has been half-written and in progress for weeks, I’ve finally found the heart to finish it.
            In my final weeks in Nepal, a LOT happened. There were so many lasts, with a few firsts interspersed. My kids had their last term finals. I spent hours on study guides, one last desperate attempt to help them believe in themselves and their abilities and pass those damned government tests. Because without passing, they often can’t continue their educations, no matter how flawed the whole system was. They passed in high numbers though and I was terribly proud of them. My last day at Jana Udaya Lower Secondary was a test day. Through some miscommunication, most of my kids didn’t realize I wouldn’t be back. They ran over after their classes were finished, the little kids in particular crowding around, for one last time playing with my hair as I crouched down to their level, and asking me all these questions, questions my mind could answer but my heart couldn’t bear to hear, about why I had to leave? when was I coming back? Would I be there when they were in the third grade? Please stay miss. Please. I was given little glass boxes with paper flowers in them, hand-made cards and pictures, postcards of Hindi actors and actresses with cute half English-half Nepali poems. I have boxes full of little trinkets from the year that I refuse to part with, despite their seeming lack of value to any outsider.
After all those trying lasts though, during this time I had an incredible first, shared with my Dad and sister, who probably had a thousand firsts on their trip to visit me and bring me home. When I finished the grant period, my Dad and Annie came to Nepal. Though I know all too well how overwhelming things can be at first, they were such troopers, as I dragged them all over Kathmandu and the country. We visited countless friends and host family members, ate more rice and curry than they probably care to again, exchanged gifts. We saw rhinos, rode elephants, scaled mountains to arrive in the snow-covered base camp of Ana Purna. That part of the trip alone would take at lease a short book to describe, and I think it would be best to ask them about it, as they had fresh eyes and open hearts to the whole experience. For me though, it just meant so much to be able to show them this world, this place that had become such a special part of my life. I am so incredibly fortunate to have had the chance to share that with them first hand.
I feel I could write much much more, but to wrap up this piece, I have to take you back to before Dad and Anne came, the week after my last day of school. The day after I finished working, I had the chance to travel with my friend and Pitzer’s study abroad program to a small rural village, Tanting. After a day’s bus ride, a 2 and a half hour jeep ride, and a 3-4 hour steep hike, we arrived in the beautiful town, carved in the side of a mountain, at the traditional house we were to stay in. I was only able to stay a couple days, before I had to return to the capital to meet my family. But from just that short time, I have many fond memories, of playing endlessly with the 3 kids at the house, drinking home made millet and rice wine and laughing with old friends from the Pitzer staff, sleeping on the floor by the window with a stunning view of the Himalayas in the morning, and playing my first ever pick-up basketball game in Nepal, out of all the places to play, there in that rural town, where they had built a concrete court.
          It was amidst these happy moments, however, when I was floored by a phone call from an eighth grade girl, a precocious student of mine. She started anxiously telling me a story about little Bishal Moktan, a fifth grader in my grammar class. He had gone out swimming in the local Nakhu River with his friends. As I listened to her Nepali words, she said one I didn’t know. I instantly knew it must mean “to drown,” but in that moment I hoped harder than maybe I ever had in my life that I was misunderstanding what she was telling me, that this story was being confused in translation. But as she kept talking, there was no escaping the truth. Bishal swam out into the deep part of the river with his friends. But he couldn’t swim back.
Bishal was honestly one of my favorites. He had an incredible smile. He was a jokester, but always remained respectful during class. Once, I picked one of his drawings out of the trash, an talented rendering of a teacher and her class, that had been torn off the wall. I was looking for a piece of trash to wipe the dry erase board with, as I didn’t have a duster, but when I saw that drawing, I tucked it away and saved it. This little boy had such a light in him, despite the difficulties I heard about his life from others. I can’t express to you all the little things that made him who he was. But I know that you can understand regardless how truly tragic and devastating it is that that life was taken from this world at such a young age.
This experience and the natural challenges that accompany any great change probably explain my emotional state as of late. To be perfectly honest, I still miss Nepal so much. And I hope that that doesn’t hurt or offend anyone, for I love you all to death, and I am also so thrilled to be reunited with friends and family. And though you can learn to live without a lot, to adjust to a new context and a lack of privileges previously had, it is also easy to slip back into habits, and enjoy the heck out of a hot shower, my piano, basketball, tap water that doesn’t threaten typhoid and various microscopic parasites, driving, southern accents, bike rides, sunsets on the Mississippi river, etc. But there’s a lingering surreal feeling to everything about being back, which demonstrates how truly and deeply my frames of reference had changed. Most of the time I find myself trying not to think too much about Nepal. I’ve called a couple people who had insisted, but I almost can’t bear to call the rest yet. It hurts too much. So I’ve been catching up here, doing little things, throwing myself into work. Finding moments of true happiness and a little peace that I think is increasing as time passes. But whether or not I face my feelings, they are there, poking through in any moment of weakness. I dreamed of my second graders and other students the other day, and it was so vivid I didn’t want to wake up. Another night, as I watched a random episode of a TV show, I suddenly found myself sobbing as the main character pulled the body of a boy who had been drowning out of a lake. I couldn’t even finish typing that sentence the first time I wrote this post, nor the section telling y’all what happened to Bishal. I’m still the tough little stoic tomboy I used to be. And though I’ve gotten better about letting out feelings from time to time to avoid untimely explosions of emotion, I know I haven’t been handling mine well of late. So I’d like to apologize to family and friends if I’ve been up and down, distracted, or testy, or anything like that. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your love and support.
            Many of y’all have been asking what’s next? And I’ve chosen to not choose, at least not right now. Nepal this time around really changed my perspective. And it really wore me out. I want to decompress a bit, but also begin to envision my future with this broadened perspective as a basis. Whatever I do, whether teaching, more school, something completely new, I will be blessed if it’s as as rewarding as my time in Nepal was, even if that means it is also as crazily beautiful, deeply draining, paralyingly difficult, and all those other English words which I’ve forgotten, that are capable of describing the vast array of emotions I experienced this past year. There’s a beautiful love song in Nepali, which resonates with me as I finish this year. It was a year in which I know I did my all, but I also know that all I could have ever done also never could have been enough. “na birse timilai, na paye timilai…” which means “I have neither forgotten you nor achieved you…”

In loving memory of Bishal Moktan

(the little boy boy behind the boy in the hat is Bishal)


Monday, February 20, 2012

11

Amazingly enough, I'm coming to the end of my grant. It's officially over March 15, though I won't be back in the states until April 14 because my Dad and Sister are coming to visit for three weeks! But as things are wrapping up, I wanted to share some of my photos, particularly for those of y'all without facebook. I've taken so many photos during my two trips in Nepal, so many that it's overwhelming, even for me, to look at. So I went through them all, old and new, and cut them down to a more reasonable number. I wanted to try to give y'all a little look into the beauty of Nepal and some of the lovely adults and children in my life. These are the ones I couldn't cut, some of my all-time favorite pictures taken in Nepal 2009-2012, in the order in which they decided to upload. Love y'all! <3

p.s. Ältere Posts at the bottom means "Older Posts," if you want to read back to the beginning of my blog


A man herding his water buffalo


My host mother and cousin at the women's festival, Tij 

Getting some shade in Chitwan National Park

Beautiful old trees in Bandipur

My host Auntie and Cousin, inspiration for my drawing.



Machhapuchare and other Himalayas from a bus in Pokhara

Homes in Simigau, a little village in the northeast mountains of Nepal very near the Himalayas and Tibet.

Boudhanath Temple

Peekaboo

Temple in Bhaktapur

View from the roof in Balkot

Sadhus at Pashupati

Pashupati

Pre-Dinner Dancing

Patan Durbar Square


The alter during Tij in Tikathali

Tij in Bhaisipati

Portrait of my host Aunt


 My host uncles before they left to work abroad for 3 years

Recieving Tika during Dashain Holiday

Host Family portrait on Dashain
View from my Tikathali Host Family's house
 
Swinging on the community-made swing during the holiday Dashain
My host dad and cousin

Some of my excited second graders before sports week

The little ones preparing to try to pop each other's balloons

The spectators

My co-teacher Rajani Miss and I, aka "Little Miss" and "Big Miss"

Bijaya jumping his heart out in the second grade sack race

Posing in the Mustard Flowers

Dol Raj's world class smile

3rd grade and too cool for school

"Glucose" Rehydration powder advertisement

grades 2-4, finally got them to smile :)

Radha's salute

Niraj going for the win

My host sister Samjhana on Tihar (We gave these offerings to my host brother, who in turn gave us money and gifts)

Cheers, trying to match the serious of this hilarious Uncle

Pings (Swings) are for all ages

The view of the hills, houses, and rice fields in Awas

7th grade field trip, and my grown up boys still being too cool for school

The giant Shiva Statue

The Didi who keeps our school running and came on the field trip with us. 

The view from Anapurna Base Camp

A Buddhist Gumba

Rice Harvest

Clare, Bishu-ji, and I 

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

10


Hello to all my family and friends across the world. Hard to believe it’s been over 2 months since I wrote! Since we last spoke, I’ve celebrated Christmas, New Years, and my birthday, though the latter two celebrations were a bit dampened by having Typhoid, the diagnosis of which was my first and worst 23rd birthday present. Not to worry though, 7 days of IV and oral antibiotics later, I was perfectly healthy again. The main unfortunate lingering consequence is that I’m still rather out of shape, as during that 3 weeks I spent as many as 20 hours a day in bed with fever. Just walking up my stairs can wind me now. Now that I have it back, though, I certainly appreciate all that good health does for me. And I know my friends appreciate that I can once again walk at a speed more akin to a fat cat than a snail.
 Since my last post I’ve also been to Sri Lanka, where met a lot of lovely teachers from across South and Central Asia, ate far too much yummy hotel food, walked by the ocean, and saw a stunning building with paintings of the life of Buddha, amongst other adventures. Between Christmas and New Years I also moved out of my home stay and am now living in a nice little apartment more in the main city. It’s been an interesting transition. I like my place now, but I must say the combination of the coldest month of the year, windows that never completely close and shades that constantly blow, no indoor heating, 6/6 local U.S. friends being out of town, and total 15 days of constant fever, chills, and nausea did not color my new lodgings in a pleasant light at first. However, that confluence of unfortunate situations was combated by a series of lovely things from loving friends and family, including episodes of M*A*S*H, movies, chocolate, fuzzy socks, Extra Strength Tylenol, orange juice, a flash drive of music, soup mixes, peppermints, a small winter teddy bear, and family photos. And believe it or not, some positive things have come out of having Typhoid. For example, it’s still a superb excuse for just about anything. It also means that the weather feels significantly warmer, even though the actual temperature change has been minimal. And, most serendipitously, my friend who works with sick Nepali people from remote rural areas who come to Kathmandu to get medical treatment, told me today that she recently stopped a woman who the doctor’s thought was fine from returning to her village without treatment, because she realized that her symptoms sounded suspiciously like mine. The woman has now been diagnosed with Typhoid and is thankfully being treated.
So Typhoid was certainly an interesting experience to add to my time in Nepal, but now that I have come out of the haze that I was in for most of January, I’ve been settling into a more normal and hectic work schedule. I restarted an extensive to-do list, and somewhere near the top was a blog update. But I struggled at first with what to say. I realized that, perhaps as a result of having been here almost 7 months now, my perspective has shifted. It’s hard for me to know what y’all want to hear about, as so many things that y’all might consider novel and interesting are normal to me now. Then I realized that if I just described to you a normal day for me in a little more detail than I have as of yet, from start to finish, you might find some of the little details intriguing. So, at the risk of having this update run long, I’m going to try to give y’all just that, the story of a day in my life. Sit back and grab a cup of coffee or tea, and take a Hindi-movie style intermission if need be. ;) Hope you’re all well! And be in touch! (k80may@gmail.com)


Part 1: 5AM-Tiffin time

I wake up to my third alarm at 5AM, trying to will myself out of my warm bed into my chilly apartment, which hasn’t even been hit by the first rays of the rising sun yet. Thinking of the things I need to finish before school, the responsible side of me is victorious, and I roll out of bed, slip on my house shoes, and lumber into the kitchen. The lights are out, as rolling power outages are up to 14-16 hours a day now. Luckily the inverter isn’t out of juice, so I’ve got one working bulb in the kitchen. Over a cup of sweet, hot coffee, I check my email and facebook, and for a moment am lost in the often frivolous business of friends on the other side of the world. Then I trade the laptop for my pile of school textbooks and my notebooks, as I have to finish preparing for the day ahead. Teaching 7-8 different grade levels makes extensive lesson planning virtually impossible, but I know that by at least giving the day’s sections a quick once over, I can usually think of some creative activity for each. Some activities require supplies and physical preparation, while others just require a quick note about what to do that day. Then, without left-overs from the night before, I start cooking breakfast, my first and main meal of the day, before 7AM. Pasta is an easy staple, and I throw together some curried vegetables to go with. After cooking and eating, the latter with hunger sometimes trumping the first, resulting in slightly undercooked food, I get dressed in a kurta suruwal (tunic top and flowing ‘aladdin style’ pants) and shawl. Then I put on some ever-so-necessary make-up; I know that in the day to come, I’ll have 200+ kids, teachers, and various other people on the street looking at me and commenting on my pimples or lack thereof, weight, height, etc. so I want to be prepared.
I grab my work back, bus money, and a water bottle of boiled water and head out the door. I’ve got to walk to the main street where the bus to my school’s town is. I’m sharing the road with some students heading to school like me, some women running errands, and a smattering of motorcyles and taxis. As I walk, I pass my favorite little family grocery shop, one that carries a convenient mix of Nepali products, like spices and fresh yogurt, and products that appeal to their foreign clientele, like me, such as pasta and parmesan cheese, red wine, and cous cous. I pass a local bakery that makes some delicious wheat bread on the right, and then turn left at the corner where there’s a little Hindu temple right beside a rare basketball court. I eye the 3 on 3 match enviously, but don’t stop, as a) I have to get to school, b) I still am pretty weak from Typhoid, and c) I don’t know if I have the guts to approach a group of local guys to try to get in on their game. Such a thing is virtually unheard of, even with all the strange behavior expected from foreigners. Maybe someday. Continuing down the street, I pass all different kinds of local shops. There’s a motorcycle repair shop and a tea shop, both constantly populated by young men, a heavily guarded foreign aid office, and a private school entrance, constantly populated by a handful of goats. Near the main road, a line of vegetable stands are already set up and their vendors in business, selling any vegetable you could possibly need, potatoes, tomatoes, onions, spinach, pumpkins, bitter gourd, etc. etc. I always go to the second one from the end, as the little old lady who works it and I have struck up a friendship. She’s a real sweetheart and gives my free chili peppers and cilantro, not to mention without fail calls me beautiful and compliments my Nepali.
Now, I’m at the main road, and take a right to walk to school. First I’ve got to cross the busy road, a task not for the faint of heart. People are always paying attention, certainly more than I can ever assume in the U.S., and aren’t trying to hit you. But without enforced rules or lanes or crosswalks or lights, you’ve just got to go when you get the chance and signal for traffic to go behind you, or else you’ll never get across. After successfully crossing, I head down to the nearest bus stop by a gas station 5 minutes down the road. Buses usually come pretty frequently, but with fuel shortages and price hikes, sometimes they don’t come until I’m already at my destination, a 30 minute walk down the road. Today I’m particularly lucky though. As I’m passing the Tibetan Refugee Camp and watching people walk around the Buddhist temple spinning the prayer wheels with their right hands, a motorcycle cuts me off, stops, and says “basnus,” or “have a seat.” I realize it’s the husband of a teacher at my school and a friend who I had given a couple English lessons to a few months back. He gives me a lift to Bhaisepati Chok, the intersection near my school, saving me at least 10 minutes and 12 rupees.
I walk down the hill to school, a gulley of trash on the left, with no infrastructure for trash collection to remedy it. The school is right at the bottom of the hill. It’s not huge, but it’s pretty nice compared to others I’ve seen. We have a hall and a library, white boards in every room, benches and desks in some, tables and floor cushions in others. No lights or heat though, leaving classrooms particularly dark on the days where it’s too cold to keep the windows open, no matter how little you can see when they’re closed. I walk in the gate and greet the woman who keeps the school clean and serves the teachers tea at break. She’s lived in the school with her family for as long as it’s been in operation (some fifty years now). They live on the first floor of the part of the building under construction, being retro-fitted for earth quake safety measures. (Kathmandu gets slammed by major earthquakes about once every fifty years). I’m at school early because these days I teach 3 speaking classes in the morning in groups of 4-5 seventh and eight graders at I time. This is something I’m doing because the kids struggle with speaking the most, but are so eager to learn. Though the first group always rolls in late, I’m loving these classes so far, and relishing the one on one time I get to spend with the kids.
 After my last speaking class wraps up, the morning assembly starts outside. The kids line up by class, Nursery, Kindergarten, 1-9. School uniform is dark blue pants or skirts and ties with lighter blue collared shirts. Uniform shoes are clunky black ones, but even in winter at least a third are usually wearing sandals or flip flops, a particularly popular variety adorned with spiderman. They sing the national anthem, listen to announcements, then are dismissed and march back to their classrooms, the little ones belching out “left, right, left, right.” Downstairs rooms are carpeted, so you can take attendance by counting all the pairs of shoes outside the doors, some neatly lined up, others clearly abandoned in the rush to get back to the fun inside. For, as students stay in the same classes and the different subject teachers come and go each period, the kids have dominion over their space, and are constantly playing and wreaking havoc in said rooms. Calm is only restored when someone serving as look-out shouts “Miss aaunubhayo, Miss aaunubhayo” to say “Miss is coming, Miss is coming,” and everyone runs to their tables, feigning innocence. Then they’re ready to stand and greet the teacher with a cacophonous “Good morrrrnnnnninnnngggg Missssss!!” as you enter the room, or in the case of the over-eager 2nd and 3rd grades, as you near the room and work on taking off your shoes.
My morning schedule starts with Classes 2 and 4. Then, after a 10 minute break, there are classes 7 and 8. Today during break, I laugh with tears in my eyes as I listen to the story about a second grade boy I’m rather fond of. Though a bit old for his class and labeled a troublemaker, I see through his show. Apparently his brother or someone in the home where he works beats him to make him study in the morning. Then the brother has to go to work and my second grader to school. Beating could mean a light slap or something more serious and painful. So, tired of this treatment, the clever kid waits until his brother is gone, climbs on a chair, and speeds up the clock so that his brother will leave for work faster.
 Every class has it’s own dynamic, depending on class size, attendance, boy to girl ratio, level of English (not necessarily higher by grade), and book (grammar or the typical government English book). What can be said is that it’s always an adventure, and you can never really know what a day will hold. I recently bought some very simple picture books, written for native-English speaking kids aged 2-6. I was planning to read them to the lower grades, 2-4, but ended up reading them to all my classes, even 7 and 8. And I was more than pleasantly surprised that the older kids loved them as much as the younger ones. After reading a few short ones, I passed them around, and it was like something out of magazine or advertisement, 3 or 4 kids crowded around a book grinning ear to ear. I went back to the store a couple of days later to buy more, kicking myself that I hadn’t done it sooner.


Part 2: Tiffin time ‘til bed time

After morning classes, there’s a forty minute “tiffin time” or lunch break. I sit with other teachers, have a cup of tea, check homework from that morning, and prepare for the classes after lunch. Once the bell rings (which is a metal plate and hammer hanging from the second floor walkway) I’ve only got 2 classes left, 3rd and 5th, with a free period in between. Class 5 is always a challenge, as they get excited for the impending break. Today though, I get through it relatively easily, the final bell rings, and I gather my books, notebooks, and homework, and leave school. I walk across the wide football (soccer) field, muddy from a night of rain. Passing a cow, I eye it warily, as past adventures with cows have left me with a dislike of them that my students find hilarious. “Bye Miss” bids me well from countless directions as the kids head home too. I walk up the hill to my old home-stay family’s house. The neighbor’s dog sees me and dutifully escorts me to my destination, past the new four story house that’s been under construction since before I came. I head up to the third floor of mine and greet my Aamaa (host mom), and we chat over chiya (milk tea) and a snack of roti, sweet breads from a Hindu religious ceremony she had done the day before. Then we head back downstairs with big metal jugs, because at this house, and most houses around here, drinking water comes from a tap outside, but only once a day around 4, so you have to carry these huge pitchers down to fill up for the day.
But it’s already time to go again, so downstairs I say goodbye, and head back down the hill to the football field, listening to the clicking of pool balls. The traditional house at the bottom of the hill makes some extra money by running a tin roofed pool hall from the side of their home. I take a right, away from the school, and head up another hill to the home where my Vice Principal and friend lives. I’ve been tutoring him and another Sir, who I’ve mentioned before, since I started work at Sri Jana Udaya. Our original goal was to help them pass a challenging entrance exam to a Masters program at a local private University. The masters program is a pre-requisite to any PhD program. I’m proud to say that they both passed their tests mid-January, and will start the program this month! We still meet, though less frequently, to work on speaking or writing. Today’s a more casual speaking class, and we talk about Paulo Friere and education in Nepal, curled up under a blanket on a bed doubling as a couch in Sir’s rented room. His academic passion would be immediately apparent to any newcomer, for a good quarter of the quaint room is dedicated to his vast collection of books, in Nepali, Hindi, and English. But with a clever arrangement of the two beds, bookshelves, and gas stove, the room is quite homely, and has in fact become much like my second home, and he and his daughter and friends much like family.
After class today, I’m not headed home, but rather to see a friend on the other side of the city. Geographically it’s not that far, but it always takes me a minimum of an hour to get there. Little do I know that this bus ride will prove to be one of the most entertaining I’ve had yet. I board the bus to her part of town in the bus park in Lagankhel, and am thankful to actually get a seat, a little piece of the bench by the bus steps, shared with 2 other people. The bus fills up quickly, with people packed in every possible seat and aisle space, even hanging out the door. I offer my seat to an older woman, but she refuses with a smile, so I take her bag instead. We start chatting, and it turns out we have a mutual friend. But our conversation is interrupted when the bus stops at a main intersection, and I hear chanting about a strike. An unplanned strike is apparently starting up in protest of the death of someone in a hospital nearby. The police are trying to stop the blocking of traffic, but with little success. Time is money to the bus driver and his side kick, the bus boy. Bus boys are usually kids aged 8-18 who collect fares at the door, call out the bus’s destination to people on the road, and signal to the driver to stop or go while navigating the insanity that can be Nepali traffic and roads. So our bus duo, being money-minded, decides not to wait for the strike to clear, but instead takes a quick left and speeds down the road in the wrong direction to try to detour around the strike. We soon find ourselves bumping along an unpaved dirt road with a million pot holes in the general direction of our original destination. Everyone we pass stares at our small bus, as it is clearly not where it is supposed to be. We pass rice fields and little shops, and have to stop at some point and do some tricky maneuverings to get around a car coming from the opposite direction, with the road only wide enough for one. Two times, about a third of the passengers have to get out so that the bus can make it up a steep hill. The second time I get out, I make a new friend, a man eager to try his English with me. As it turns out he is also in education, and we chat about Nepal, walking down the road. At this point, we are near to the town Tikathali, where most people are headed and the bus takes a few minutes to get up that hill. Some people wander ahead, and the bus finally comes and scoops my group up and hurtles onwards. The bus driver yells at the bus boy to be sure and get his fares from everyone, including the people who had been walking, in case they had wandered off. The bus boy starts shouting out to everyone we pass about paying their fares, but all he gets is a bunch of incredulous looks from people who were never on the bus at all and laughs from those of us who are. The kid can’t be more than 16 or 17, and the older women sass him a bit about yelling at people he doesn’t recognize. He tries once more, on a woman in a red shawl walking ahead, but is mistaken for a third time, and, thoroughly flustered, gives up. Though the trip took an inordinate amount of time, the humor and good will of everyone kept things sane and calm.
I finally get off at my stop, making my way down a small path that’s a short cut to my friend’s place. I pass more rice fields, a small river, tomato gardens, a house with a new puppy (which I’m thankful to see has replaced the mean old dog that bites). At long last I’m at my friend’s, who stays in the Program House where I once studied as a student in Nepal on the Pitzer Program. I’m thrilled to see her and other old friends, many Sherpa men from a mountain community I once visited near the Himalayas. I settle into a wicker chair by the fire they built outside and we all chat and gossip about the day and the week. I’m thankful at last to be ending my day. After dinner, I curl up on a mat on the floor, still wearing my winter jacket because I can’t bear to take off a single layer. But with two heavy warm blankets and a hand-knit hat one dear Nepali friend had just whipped out of nowhere for me at dinner, I’m quite cozy, and I sleep deeply and soundly.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

9


Hellooo family and friends. To start, as is becoming customary, I apology for the long delay. But while I am indeed sorry, I can’t promise to be better in the future, as my busy life has been getting even busier lately. A few weeks my co-teacher got very sick and ended up in the hospital for a few days. Thankfully she is doing much better now and has started coming back to school this week, but prior to that I found myself suddenly no longer teaching partial periods and assisting the rest of the time, but rather having to plan and teach 7 full periods. Which would be one thing if it was only one or two grades, but is a whole other story considering I teach 7 different grades, classes 2-9 (minus 6). The very moment I stepped into class 2 I knew I was in for a challenge. 35 second graders, who were relatively well-behaved before, started creating chaos the moment they realized that I was going to be taking over. Because what I quickly realized was that they had instantly realized the first week: there is little I can say (in my broken Nepali) or do that measures up to the corporal punishment they are used to. In essence, they know I don’t hit, so they know that there’s hardly any incentive to behave when the alternatives (such as playing with contraband marbles, fighting, dancing and singing, etc.) are so very much fun. And I can’t really blame them. Who wouldn’t want to play all day? But needless to say, that first day was a little rough. After that day though, by necessity I quickly started learning things that more seasoned teachers no doubt have down pat. For example, one lesson: keeping kids busy keeps control in the classroom. That’s not to say that I started assigning busy work, but I did start over-planning my classes so that I had more than enough activities to keep ‘em engaged and didn’t have to pause in between, important considering all hell can break loose in the span of about 30 seconds. I was getting the hang of all this around the time my co-teacher came back, but it sure has been a learning experience. But overall that time of total control in my classes was both challenging and enjoyable. I really appreciated the extra time I got to spend with the older kids in particular and the independence that allowed me be more creative with the curriculum. Now, I am shifting back to my previous role in the classroom, but I feel a little more empowered to break from the norms that I did before.
             As I’m sitting trying to remember things that y’all might like to hear about, I’m realizing that it’s been so long since I last wrote that I can hardly remember what all has happened. But I also realize that, aside from the things that I think of as big events, y’all might find my day-to-day life interesting, so I’ll throw in a spoon or two of that. Lately my day-to-day life’s been getting colder. And by cold I mean it’s dipping into the 40’s and 50’s, soon to be 30’s, but that certainly feels a lot chillier without indoor heating or hot water. The new weather has added to the list of things I love the big heavy blanket I’ve been given for the cold nights, under which I hibernate nightly and wake only after my second alarm. In addition, seeing my breath in the kitchen in the morning makes the milk tea I loved before even more deliciously satisfying now. On the other hand, the cold has also added showering to the list of things I avoid, so in the words of g-wise, look out boys! I do feel accomplished when I say that I wash my hair a couple times a week and my face a couple times a day, which, with deodorant, honestly makes me feel down-right clean. It’s alright if you can’t understand that, I might not have at some point in my past. In addition to my perhaps challengeable hygiene, there’s also been a shift in my clothing. I think if some of you saw me here on certain days, you might not recognize me. The other day I had to laugh at myself. I don’t even think it was laundry day, but I looked down and was wearing a pair of bright sky blue pajama pants, a pinkish-red tunic type top, a bright purple sweater, a grey knit hat with flowers hot-glued to it, and hot pink flip-flops. Quite the fashion statement (though probably no worse than some of the things I threw on in middle school). Things might be improving now though, for even though I do love those comfortable tiny little pink shoes, I am happy to announce that after a four hour round trip trek to the other side of the city and back, I am now the proud owner of two new pairs of shoes that actually fit my giantess size 11 feet. (Thanks again to my mama, Mr. and Mrs. Morrison, and everyone else who made that possible!) All that said, I realize that I may be ruining my chances for securing a boyfriend in the future with these perhaps too honest accounts of my condition, but seeing as how my marriage may or may not currently be being arranged, I’m not too concerned.
All joking aside though, I’m doing really well y’all. So not to worry, particularly for those with the propensity to do so *coughmamacough* ;) Class 5 Homework: Adjectives to describe me lately- happy and content, cold outside and warm inside, loving and feeling loved, tired yet steadfast, and overall just thankful. As my fifth straight Thanksgiving away from home is the day after tomorrow and my first Christmas without my family is approaching, homesickness is a little higher than usual. But then whenever I find myself down, I am again constantly reminded of the beauty in my life. I am so fortunate to be here, to have this opportunity, to be working with these kids, to have the love and support of my friends and family at home, and for so many more things. I truly cannot complain (beyond joking).
I hope that most of y’all are able to head home for the holidays and see your families, that all is well with you and them, and that you have a peaceful and happy Thanksgiving! Thanks for reading, and please please be in touch! (k80may@gmail.com) Lots of love to you all!

p.s. In closing, a few things from my diary, which is more of a list of things that make me smile. Hopefully they might make you too J
-the sun-kissed Himalayas spotted from the roof this morning while I was washing my clothes
-wedding season and the brass bands that are playing at them, which can be heard for miles
-things i have gotten from my students the last couple of weeks: 2 lollipops, 1 small plastic turtle, lots of smiles, 1 frog keychain (minus half the chain), 1 marble, 1 fake 500 rupee bill, 1/4 of an orange, 2 guavas, 7 candies, many handshakes, many more "good morning miss"s (even in the evening), 3 pink roses with assorted other hand-picked flowers, and countless beautiful drawings in their English journals
  - the first grader in the morning assembly who, when counting off after the student who said 99, hesitated, then pronounced confidently, “ninety…. Ten!”

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

8 p.s.

For those of my family and friends without facebooks, I made this video public so that hopefully you can still see it. My host cousin Asika, who's about 4, is another little darling who keeps me smiling. We recorded this video for y'all, though I'm not sure she understood who she was talking too... In the outtakes and when we watched the videos we recorded, she kept trying to talk to herself in the computer. So here's Asika's namaste <3

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=2232600023676&set=vb.1508160483&type=2&theater

8


Hi again y’all. Finally able to get a little update in… I was having computer troubles, namely my computer charger stopping working, but I am back in business now (knock on wood). Thanks so much again to Salif, Mr. Donahue and the Donahue family for the help in that regard! We were recently on vacation for a couple weeks for one of the biggest holidays here, Dashain. Happy belated Dashain/Bijaya Dashamiko Shubhakamana to you all! We just started school again, but only for a couple weeks before another huge holiday, Tihar (or Diwali). It’s roughly the equivalent of Christmas and Thanksgiving holiday season at home, and I’m lucky to get to celebrate all of these holidays in the weeks ahead : )
It’s crazy that I’ve been here 3 months now. I’ve been saying lately that I’ve been learning more than I’ve been teaching. As I think may be the case for teachers all over the world, it’s hard to gauge the impact of your work. I’m just taking it one day at a time, trying to continuously step back and re-evaluate what I’m doing and improve, find the little ways I can have the most impact. But after a month and a half or so of the actual teaching, it seems to only get more and more challenging.
My schedule is still pretty much as I described before. I teach 6 periods of English grades 2-8. Four classes are English Language and two are grammar. After school I teach a class to two Sirs from my school and another nearby. To end the workday I help tutor 6th graders at home with my host sister. Before Dashain break started, I started setting up some smaller classes in the mornings before school with 1-3 students per class. This was something I decided I had to do after these weeks of teaching and observing my classes. I have been learning my students’ names, habits, personalities, and current levels of English proficiency. Combining this information with their test scores from the first exam, I started inquiring about some of my students with my co-teacher. Some attend school irregularly, some seem to have virtually no reading comprehension, some have difficulty behaving in the context of a structured class. And to be perfectly honest, some of what I’ve been finding out is heart-breaking.  Many of the kids who I’ve asked about and am starting to work with outside of school are working in other people’s homes. Some are from much smaller towns and villages that are outside the Kathmandu Valley, places that can take days to get to on bus and by foot. Their families may have arranged for them to come to the Valley in the hopes that they will be able to get a better education by working in other’s homes and going to school. The reality of some of these kids’ lives sometimes seems to be different than their families’ hopes and aspirations though. Many are struggling in school, some are clearly many grade levels behind, and at times their work at home keeps them from attending school and doing homework. But some are thriving, top of their class. These challenges are difficult for my school and I to face. I just hope that with a little extra time, love, attention I can help these students and my others build a stronger base in English. Hopefully in my final blogs from Nepal I will be able to speak of such progress.
            My friend asked me about my work schedule the other day and was surprised that I work from about 9-6 (without lesson planning time) 6 days a week. But I realized that those hours, which probably would have driven me insane in some of my previous jobs, aren’t so bad now. I built my schedule to be this long, and I like my work. My kids make me want to be at school. I even wished I was working during the holiday. And you can’t really beat the reception of all the “Good Morning Miss”'s I get everyday, not to mention the 4th grade girls who have started waiting for me at the bottom of my hill then run up and walk with me hand in hand to school. That starts my day with a smile, but it doesn’t stop. My second graders spontaneously sing “twinkle, twinkle little star” every time I come to their class, there’s hardly ever a day in which someone doesn’t call me beautiful, and when I leave school each day, kids of all ages like to run up for a hand shake, which is fun for them especially in its novelty to the traditional Namaste (hands pressed together as if praying). This kind of work atmosphere may very well spoil me for when I return home to any other job.
            At the end of the day I’m just taking the ups with the downs, facing challenges as they come, and learning so very much. Sometimes I just stop for a moment and marvel at the fact that this is my life, and I feel again so fortunate to have this opportunity. After a hard year last year, I am so thankful to be able to say that with the highs and the lows, I’m averaging out to being very happy. My life is beautiful, it always has been, but sometimes we lose touch I think. Hope all of that doesn’t sound too cliché ;) Just thought some of y’all might appreciate a little glimpse of how I’m doing personally. I hope everyone at home is well! Please write me sometime if you get the chance! My email is k80may@gmail.com. Take care of yourselves <3
           
            

Saturday, September 10, 2011

7 p.s.

 part of the reason why i love going home everyday... the 6 kids i help tutor every afternoon


asika, a little girl in my extended family, modeling my bracelets for y'all 



 asika and I
 dressed up for tij with my aamaa (mom) on my left and my sister and a neighbor


 my host sister samjhana and i on tij